2004 LEADERSHIP ISSUE: Balancing Basics

Are you a small business owner? Do you work for a large organization? Or perhaps you work for a medium-sized company? No matter, in all areas of business today, the workload seems to keep increasing and the days seem to continue shrinking for many working Americans.

In the high pressure of our busy, fast-paced society, it is often easy to lose one’s perspective. Too often, we are controlled by our jobs and careers instead of controlling them. We somehow come to believe that there is something noble about working too many long, hard hours while ignoring our personal and recreational lives. That’s a bad trap to fall into.

It is important to remember that the distinction between our personal and professional lives is only in our minds. We have one life with a limited number of years, weeks, days and minutes. How we invest this precious time can make all the difference. Most of us have intense schedules with lists or day planners that budget every moment throughout the day. We have tasks that demand our attention that we struggle to find time to deal with. In this environment, our recreational time or personal time often gets relegated to whatever is left over. Unfortunately, too often there is no time left over, and we find ourselves getting rundown and burned out.

What is even worse is that some employers will encourage employees to stay late and come in early, making comments, such as, “You are not keeping the pace with others,” or “we have to get these items completed and we need your help to be more of a team player.” Somehow, they indicate that work isn’t getting done and that it’s your responsibility to make it happen. But this is a big lie.

Many companies are cutting back their workforces to make more money and then squeezing employees to work harder. If you go to your work every day and allow the job to control your time instead of you controlling your time, you may find that your work will take every bit of time, effort and energy you have – and maybe a little bit more. In any job, there is always more to do and something awaiting your attention.

You have got to ask yourself these critical questions:

1. What if I don’t do this now?
2. What if I don’t do this at all?
3. Is this my project or priority, or is it someone else’s?
4. Is this activity critical to get me from where I am to where I want to be?
5. Can anyone accomplish this task other than me?

The truth is that we need to apply at least as much focus and energy to our personal and recreational time as we do to our business and professional lives. Hopefully, you have a maintenance schedule for your car, your home appliances, etc.

These are more important because they help us take care of valuable, expensive equipment; however, your most valuable equipment is you. Recreation, vacation and personal time are critical to your success. You may find that you can get more done in less time if you took care of your own mental and physical health than if you continuously worked overtime and didn’t maintain your own equipment.

As you go through your day today, be sure to enjoy your work and plan your fun.

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY. People who can’t do anything but work will never find what they want the most – a happy life. They substitute work at all hours for relationships with people because they fear failure except at work, where they feel successful. I know a guy who is a millionaire many times over, and own several office buildings and other properties. He’s been divorced for more than 20 years, his grown children live thousands of miles away and he constantly refuses opportunities to date. He’s completely alone and all he has is his business. He goes to his office to work seven days a week, holidays included.

So there he sits, alone in a huge, empty office building on holidays, working hard at making money he doesn’t need and could never spend. If this isn’t sad, even pathetic, I’m not sure what would be.

To avoid this man’s fate, take breaks at work as often as possible, even if it’s just for five minutes. Listen to some music you enjoy. Get up from your desk and stretch a little. If you work under artificial light, go outside in the sunshine for some Vitamin D therapy. At lunchtime, even if you bring your lunch, don’t eat inside. Instead, go to a park or open area in good weather. In bad weather, just sit in your car and enjoy the radio as you eat.

Schedule a vacation well in advance so you are sure to take it and don’t use the excuse that you’re just too busy to get away. When you do take your vacation, consider leaving your cell phone and laptop at home and check in with the office only periodically if necessary. If you can’t relax, what’s the point of a vacation?

CREATE SYNERGY BY PARTNERING. Partnering means working with others toward a mutual goal. Look within your organization for people with whom you can align and from whom you can learn. If you can’t identify anyone in your organization, look outside to mentoring groups, professional organizations and business development groups.

When partnering, you discuss everyone’s assignments, understand the role of the process, challenge each other and get ideas from each other. Since each person has both strengths and weaknesses, look for supportive partners who have different skills and talents from yours so you can generate new and better ideas than you would have alone. Allow other people’s good ideas to motivate you; it can be invigorating.

DON’T ALLOW PEOPLE TO SABATOGE YOUR LIFE. Do you know anyone in life who sees the negative consistently? Even if you get a promotion or close a big deal, tell them and they’ll be happy for you for a few minutes. Then they will slowly start to point out the negative side and all of the things that might go wrong. On and on they’ll speak, draining the joy and happiness you feel until you began to wonder if your news is really any good at all.

It’s tough when these people are close to you, maybe to your mother or father, brother or sister, husband or wife, etc. It’s difficult to challenge them and, of course, it’s easy to get into a fight with people so close to you, which of course makes you feel even worse.

What you are doing is seeking affirmation of your skills and talents from others, and these people, even your family members, may never let you have the satisfaction. It’s their way of controlling you. Many people spend their entire life seeking acceptance and never getting it. In these situations, you have to force yourself not to share everything and not to let these people get to you with their negative opinions. Instead, settle for acceptance from others who recognize you for the great person you are.

Identify the saboteurs in your life and avoid them. Saboteurs may be friends who drain you with their negativity or they could be family members who are too demanding of your time and energy. You may not be able to totally your saboteurs, but you can set limits with them so they don’t zap your resilience.

If you can’t identify any saboteurs around you, ask yourself if you are your own worst saboteur. Do you have negative messages playing in your head? Do you manage your time poorly. Do you procrastinate? Do you busy yourself with menial tasks at work rather than with productive ones? If so, the first step is to become aware of your behaviors. Then, get some support to help you. Pay for the help if you need to, whether it’s a therapist, a business advisor, a coach or even an assistant who can help with routine tasks so you can focus on your long-range goals.

REWARD YOURSELF AFTER A CHALLENGE. Keep a positive goal in mind as you tackle those tasks you dislike. For example, if you say, “I hate writing reports – I’m just not good at it,” you’re going to hate the project. Every minute you struggle with the report, your resilience will decline.

Instead, think of a positive goal or a reward you can give yourself for finishing the project and focus on that. Depending on the project, the reward can be taking a nature walk, leaving work 15 minutes early or even taking a weekend getaway. Whatever you decide, make sure the reward equals the effort and that the reward isn’t really a negative in disguise, such as a supersized hot fudge sundae or a six-pack of beer.

YOU’RE ALLOWED TO SAY NO. While you certainly want to do your best and make a good impression on clients, coworkers and supervisors, relize that you’re not a super human being and you cannot do everything that’s asked of you. So, if you can’t possibly take on any more work, then politely say “No” to the project. Remember, if you say “Yes” to everything, you’re not going to have the time or the energy to do your best on anything.

If you feel that you can’t say “No” to your supervisor, then politely say, “I need your help. I have all these other projects that are also due by the end of the week. Help me determine which one is priority No. 1.” It is very likely that when you say that, your boss will realize you’re overloaded and push back the due date on a project or reassign it to a coworker.

Another problem in some companies is coworkers will ask for help in doing what should be their job. Sometimes it’s someone you like and would prefer not to offend, so you reluctantly agree, only to wind up immersed in someone else’s problem and find your own work not getting done.

Have the courage to say “No.” If you really want to help, explain that you have certain things you need to complete first and if you have time you’ll try to help. Also, suggest alternate ways they can get help if you don’t know of any. Don’t allow others to trap you into projects or work you can’t or don’t want to do.

EAT SMART. Often when we’re under pressure, we don’t eat right. We either forget to eat regularly and then overeat when we finally do, or we exercise poor judgment by stopping for a burger and fries on the way home from work instead of fixing a healthy dinner. But the times when we are the most stressed are precisely when we need proiper nutrition. So make the time for healthy food choices.

REGULAR EXERCISE. It helps keep stress levels down. If you find exercise you enjoy, you are likely to stick with it. Think back to your younger days and identify which sports you liked. If you were on the basketball team, consider joining an adult league. If you used to love spending the summer at the pool, take a water aerobics class or swim laps. Realize that exercise doesn’t mean you have to go to a gym or join an organized activity; you can take a walk around the block, play ball with your kids or do anything you enjoy that’s physically active. Of course, before changing your diet or starting any exercise program, consult with your physician.

LAUGHTER IS A GREAT STRESS REMOVER. Laughing is great medicine for stress, so laugh often. Watch a funny movie or go see a comedy act. Get together with your old friends and rehash the funny stories from your youth. Have a tickle fight with your kids. Do whatever makes you smile and feel good.

The best laugh is when you laugh at yourself. Looking inward at your life and actions can provide great material. Before you go to bed each night, ask yourself if you did anything silly or funny today, and then allow yourself to laugh at it.

The author is a sales training expert. He offers additional free sales and time management tips at www.trainingexpert.com.