Advice for my younger self

As a mom of an only child that will soon be graduating from high school and spreading her wings in college, I find myself wondering how I would grade myself on the work/life balance over the years. I have been with Milosi for 21 years and with all the many changes and growth, my position has compounded and at times, I felt stretched thin across different departments.

My parents taught us four kids what hard work meant at a very early age and sometimes it is hard to “turn it off” and unplug. This caused a ripple effect at home with my husband and daughter with the need to be “all the things” for all the people and feeling like there wasn’t enough time in the day to get all the things done. I recently pondered on the question, “What would I tell my younger self?”

1. Learn to say “no”

Learning how to say no can be one of the hardest soft skills to put into practice. But it’s an important part of setting boundaries.

It can be helpful to recognize that saying “no” to things that are less of a priority frees up time and energy to say “yes” and attend to other things that are important to you.

2. Prioritize your health

Recognizing the importance of maintaining your physical health, emotional well-being and mental fitness means daily meditation, movement and exercise, social connection, gratitude practice and committing to using paid time off.

This has been hard for me to do. I wish I had made self-care a priority over the years. It is easy to fall into the routine of motherhood and trying to be the best at work and to forget that being the best version of ourselves is just as important for our family as it is for our own mental health.

3. Practice self-compassion

One of the most important ways to achieve a sense of work/life balance is to let go of perfectionism.

It’s important to recognize that life isn’t always easy. Everyone struggles, and you aren’t always going to get it “right.” Recognizing this truth allows you to create a shift toward a more compassionate growth-and-learning approach to work and life. This can help to support a sense of balance.

4. Invest in relationships

Make sure to spend your time nurturing relationships that matter to you. Block out time for your family and friends so that our “cup is filled.” It is important, especially for mothers, to know that they are not in this adventure alone and that they have friends that they can share the good and bad with. I call mine the “5 a.m. friends.” I know I can count on them any time, any day and that is important on this crazy ride of life.

Laughter is always good medicine. I have always told my daughter to find her tribe and love them hard. Find people that you can be your true self with and live in a no judgement zone.

5. Ask for help

High achieving professionals are often guilty of taking everything on themselves. They don’t want to “bother” anyone by asking for help.

Sometimes this is tied to identity. “I’m supposed to be the one who has it all together,” or feelings of obligation “Who else will do it if I don’t?”

Instead, consider that asking for help gives other people the gift of giving — and being part of a solution and support system.

Women in Landscaping is a column brought to you in partnership with the National Association of Landscape Professionals. Tina Kizer is an active member of the National Association of Landscape Professionals Women in Landscape Network (powered by Envu) which provides a forum for industry professionals to support each other’s professional growth. The Network is free to all industry professionals.