Benchmark your personal life

I had just left a client near Boise, Idaho, and was driving along U.S. Highway 95 on my way to see a client in Kalispell, Montana. It was a perfect mid-September day with puffy white clouds above me and open dry road ahead. The Salmon River rushed downstream heading my direction – first on my right side, then on my left.

As I wove my way along a river traveled by Lewis and Clark more than 200 years ago, I mused about the book project that I was working on: “Benchmark This!: Financial, Business and Personal Standards for Landscape Installation Contractors.”

Specifically, I thought about the concept of flourishing (attaining success in all facets of your life) and how it provides an intuitive, yet objective measure of one’s life, career and general progress toward achieving a life lived well. On this particular day, I’d place myself at a 9.3-9.5 ranking out of a possible 10. Life at this particular moment in time was very good for me.

My thoughts then turned to two individuals who, one month ago, were at the other end of the spectrum. Both had crashed and burned. One made choices that put him on the road to recovery while the other refused to change and teetered on the brink of personal disaster.

The train wreck. Too many of us go crashing and thrashing through life, leaving bodies in our wake. Oblivious to the destructive path that we sow, our efforts, like the wind from a tornado, spew carnage in all directions. Not only does the damage mount around us, but it also takes an internal toll that, in the end, is perhaps more destructive than the external one. Often it is not until the damage – both external and internal – is severe enough that one is forced to face the problem. I’ve seen it time and time again – people on the road to personal destruction. Some stop the momentum, change course and prevent a train wreck. Others either take corrective action too late or don’t take any at all.

Measuring inner success. Two friends turned me on to the concept of flourishing a number of years ago. Dr. Scott Waller, Ph.D., is a political science professor at Biola University near Los Angeles. Dr. Stan Wallace, Th.M., is the president of Global Scholars, an organization that places academics in developing countries around the globe. Prior to my discussions with Stan and Scott on this subject, my measurement of my personal life was foggy and subjective, at best. If I felt good at the moment, life was good. If, on the other hand, my emotional roller-coaster took a dip, so did my state of being.

If you know someone who is in serious decline, reach out to them and encourage them to get help. There are professionals who specialize in this area. It’s OK to admit that you’re not always OK.

Your life and its development have many facets. In order to flourish, all aspects need to be in order and improving. When they do, you don’t necessarily achieve “nirvana.” However, you experience a sense of satisfaction and direction that, while subjective, is palpable and measurable. How do you measure it? You measure it through your intuition.

You know intuitively whether you are anxious or not, frustrated or not, worrisome or not, aimless or not. Certainly, you can fool yourself and others. (The psychotic says that 2 + 2 = 5 and believes it. The neurotic says that 2 + 2 = 4 but worries about it.) However, as a general rule, you know your state of being.

Unlocking inner success. Look at it this way. A jewel thief that desires to break into a safe and steal a family’s fortune rotates the dial as he attempts to perfectly align the tumblers. When he does, the fortune is his. Or so he thinks.

Similarly, as we align all of the facets of our life in a healthy manner, we experience joy, peace, patience, self-control and financial, social, intellectual and vocational success. Your job is to work at properly developing and aligning the various elements of your life – getting a good education, developing healthy social skills, preparing for your chosen vocation, paying attention to your physical and emotional well-being, etc.

The two friends that I mentioned earlier had, over many years, gotten seriously out of kilter. For whatever reason(s), due to insecurity, clinical depression, bad choices, P.T.S.D. (post-traumatic stress disorder) etc.; they were not flourishing. Like the frog in the kettle that fails to jump out as the water heats up, they didn’t recognize it at first. The frog got cooked but fortunately, one of my friends did not. He responded positively to feedback from those who loved him and he got help. The other friend is still in a state of denial and may lose his family and his livelihood.

Never too late. Benchmarks aren’t just for Xs, Os, numbers and money that you’ll read about in Lawn & Landscape’s special section this month. The most important ones are intuitive and go beyond mere numbers. They measure your personal well-being and tell you whether you are “on track” or not.

The concept of flourishing helped me benchmark this important aspect of life. I pass it along hoping that it might help you, as well. Ask yourself if you are flourishing in all areas of your life. If not, take action and do something about it. Seek out help if necessary.

If you know someone who is in serious decline, reach out to them and encourage them to get help. There are professionals who specialize in this area. It’s OK to admit that you’re not always OK. L&L