Among the myriad of conversations managers engage in, perhaps none are as daunting, yet crucial, as having difficult conversations with employees. These may address any number of uncomfortable topics such as performance issues, behavior problems or confronting conflicts. While having these conversations is rarely considered enjoyable, the repercussions of not having them can take a toll on the employee, coworkers, the manager and the entire organization.
Over my years of managing people in different settings and different companies, I appreciate the opportunity to sit down with an employee and have one of these difficult conversations. I’m often met with surprise, and doubt, when I share this perspective with my colleagues, but it truly gives me an opportunity to either help an employee step into their full potential or find the path to be successful somewhere else.
I was often labeled “too nice” in my early years of being a manager. I hoped for the best in everyone and trusted that everyone not only knew what to do to be successful, but genuinely wanted to put in the effort to be the best they could be. Over the years I learned that employees often did not know the correct course of action and were not aware of how they were falling short and, more importantly, what they needed to do to be successful.
These conversations are the opportunity to provide course-correction and mentoring that can help shift the trajectory of an employee’s career. I learned that if I truly cared about the people on my team, (and I did and I do!) that it was my responsibility and my privilege to have a conversation with them when they were falling short. I needed to let them know why it was a problem and what they needed to do to correct the issue and be successful going forward.
In the best of cases, these conversations are met with openness, appreciation and motivation to take honest and important feedback to heart. Improvements are often seen either immediately or over time with continued direction.
Sometimes, these conversations are met with resistance, sometimes even argument. But even in these cases, if you keep an open mind and really listen to what the employee has to say and what their perspective is, you can have an impactful conversation. Listen and validate their views, but don’t hesitate to clearly lay out what needs to change and what the results will be if they don’t follow through on your direction.
Of course, situations occur when constructive criticism is not received, and the employee is not open to making needed improvements or corrections. At these times, the difficult conversation becomes an opportunity to document that you provided the needed redirection, but the employee did not take the action needed. I found that when these conversations took place at the first sign of an issue, the ultimate result of the employee choosing to leave or being dismissed was easier because the groundwork had been laid.
Despite their discomfort, these conversations are essential for fostering a culture of transparency, growth and continuous improvement within the workplace. Here’s why I believe they’re indispensable:
Fostering Accountability: When managers address issues promptly and directly, it sends a clear message that everyone is expected to uphold certain standards of performance and conduct. Ignoring problems or sweeping them under the rug only serves to erode accountability and undermine the integrity of the organization.
Driving Performance Improvement: By pinpointing areas for development and offering guidance on how to address them, managers empower employees to enhance their skills and capabilities.
Preventing Escalation of Issues: Having difficult conversations early on allows managers to nip issues in the bud before they spiral out of control. This proactive approach can mitigate conflicts, reduce turnover and preserve overall harmony and morale within the workplace.
Building Trust and Respect: When managers demonstrate a willingness to engage in difficult conversations with empathy and sincerity, it fosters an environment of openness and authenticity. Employees feel valued and respected when their concerns are acknowledged and addressed constructively, leading to stronger relationships and a more cohesive team.
Promoting a Culture of Feedback: When employees perceive feedback as a constructive tool for growth rather than criticism, they become more receptive to receiving input from their peers and supervisors. This culture of continuous feedback fosters a learning mindset, encourages innovation and drives individual and organizational development.
Resolving Misunderstandings and Miscommunications: Many workplace conflicts stem from misunderstandings or miscommunications that should have been clarified through open dialogue. Difficult conversations provide an opportunity to address these issues directly, clear up any misconceptions and ensure that everyone is on the same page.
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