It’s All About Relating

Someone might have mistaken this seminar on leadership for a Southern Baptist Church on Sunday. Attendees were dancing in the aisles, smiling at each other and waving their hands in the air while Jim Paluch cheered them on to the sounds of soul music.

But Paluch of JP Horizons of Painesville, Ohio, was simply illustrating what he’s learned through years of talking about leadership: That you can tell someone’s personality by their body language.

Some attendees at the seminar quickly broke out in dance, while others feigned dancing and watched others curiously. A few were reluctant to dance at all. It shows that some people have "warm" personalities – they’re amiable or expressive – while others are perceived to have "cold" personalities – they’re analytical or a driver. Good leaders size up those personalities and relate well to people in order to get them to work harder, Paluch tells attendees of PLANET’s 31st Annual Student Career Days.

Foremen and owners of landscape contracting companies can use these skills out in the field.

"If I want someone to plant two trees and they’re a driver, what does he do?" Paluch asks the audience. "After I tell him to plant those trees and turn around, he’s going to say, ‘I’ve got your two trees right here!’"

But what if an expressive person is asked to plant the trees? "I’ll probably put my arm around him," Paluch says. "He just wants you to notice that he’s great at planting trees."

If he’s an amiable person, Paluch says he would touch his arm and say, ‘See those trees. Those trees are small right now, but one day they’re going to be big.’" By this time, the sensitive and amiable person is wiping tears away, he says.

"The difference between an amateur leader and a professional is in the details," Paluch says. An amateur barks orders, says they are the boss and tries to demand respect. A professional understands employees, relates to them and earns respect, Paluch says.

Attending a career fair isn’t enough, Paluch says. "I’ve watched students run into the career fair, grab as many T-shirts as they can, and run out. And I never see them again. I don’t know where they go," he says. "The point of the career fair is to show potential employers you can relate to people."

Paluch encourages students to shake hands with people, show professionalism and ask questions. Anyone can learn the mechanics and processes of a job, he says. But it’s the ability to relate to other people that can make or break a job interview.

Paluch offers practical tips to relate to others. Leaders listen to others by mirroring the words, expressions and body language of the person they’re conversing with, he says.

"You can mirror the words people use," Paluch says. "If someone says to you, ‘I’m having a terrible day,’ you ask them, ‘Why are you having a terrible day?’"

"If they cross their arms, cross your arms. If they lean on something with an arm, you lean on something with an arm. Pretty soon they’ll unfold their arms, lean forward and connect with you."

"I’ve seen this stuff work. I don’t know exactly why it works, but it does. If I flip a light switch, the light goes on. It works the same way. If you do this, you’re going to go anywhere you want to go."

Paluch offers several tips for how to live life and be a leader:

*Read, read, read

*Set goals even if you don’t reach them

*Do more than you are paid for and take action

*Be a builder, an encourager and help someone

*Show up on-time – always

*Get involved and understand the vision

*Save and understand the value of money

*Use integrity

*Never, never, never quit

*Appreciate people and love yourself